Come as you are

I'm just back from visiting family in Tucson. It was lovely; sunny and warm. I spent as much time outside as I possibly could. That said, I was so happy to come home. I am never more aware of my imperfections than when I am visiting family. I think this is largely because I have this idea of myself as a mature, reasonable, compassionate human being in my real life. But dealing with certain thorny family situations, I turn into a raging 3 year old. The fact that I (mostly) keep that side of myself hidden from those family members makes no difference. I see her clearly: her face beet red from screaming, her chubbly little fists holding fast to something, anything, her quickening fury at not being understood. I certainly love my family but that doesn't mean I like spending time with all of them. And, I struggle to feel love for myself when confronted with some deep and ugly feelings that surface when I am with them. From conversations with friends over the years, I am comforted to know I am not the only one who deals with this kind of internal turmoil with family of origin. It helps me ease up on myself just a bit.But coming home....coming home is so sweet. The studio is a place where I feel reasonably certain people are going to leave feeling better than when they came. I never feel like an emotionally wrought toddler when I'm teaching. I occasionally witness turmoil in other people, and am deeply empathetic, but I do not take it personally. I am always happy to have people show up, no matter how or what they are feeling.So—to the point of "come as you are": I know sometimes you think, ugh, I feel so crappy and sad today. So tired, so unworthy, so fat, so drained... I can't show up to yoga like this. I know because I face those feelings too. We all do. When you show up to yoga, and we ask you to leave your baggage at the door, we mean: drop the stuff that's dragging you down. We certainly don't mean, be perfect! Show up as you are and we (instructor, students, studio, your mat) will welcome you with open arms. If you're tired, be tired. Maybe you push through, maybe you take refuge in child's pose. Maybe through some combination of both, you find a spark of relief and light to make the rest of your day brighter. We aren't judging you. We all have crap days now and again. You don't have to show up your most perfect self, you just have to show up. Just show up. Let us meet you where you are.A belated Happy New Year.With love,Leslie