When Inspiration Does Not Come

I’m primed to be inspired by Spring, caught up in the mad fever ofwarmer days and things growing. But it is not happening. Inspirationeludes me. It’s part New-England’s-cruelest-month doldrums, and partwell, I’m not sure. Bad timing? Whatever the reason, I am sitting atthe dining room table, watching a fat robin bounce across my vegetablebeds, pecking its beak between remnants of mulch straw and the sandybits of wet April snow, and I feel no spring stirrings of the heart.However, experience has taught me that it will come. It will. In themeantime, I haul myself outside for a run in full winter layers, butit’s a slog, not an inspired romp. The dirt road through the dam that ismy route is breathtakingly beautiful. Still not inspired. Still, it’s aslog. It could change tomorrow. Tomorrow I could be lifted out of mydullness and feel buoyancy return. So it goes with work, with yoga, withlife. I’ve practiced yoga since 1988. I’ve taught since 1994. I’ll behonest: I am not always inspired to either teach, orpractice, though often I am. I love what I do, I feel privileged dailyto teach and run a studio, but it is hard. It is especially hard when Iunroll my mat to practice or to plan my next class, and I am notparticularly inspired. I always figure it out. I always prepare myclasses. I practice most days. But, like my currently uninspired runs(that I am diligently sweating through to prepare for a 10K trail run),it’s a bit of a slog. Does this make me a bad teacher? Bad yogi? I don’treally think so. The flip side of the sometimes drudgery of starting,of just unrolling my mat, and seeing what happens, is that somethingalways does. If not always the winged joy of inspiration, when I startto practice, the process unfurls its familiar path to me, and an hour ortwo later, I roll up my mat, content and happily energized, with aclear something to teach the next day, or an improvedmood to see me through my day. This is partly a 'pep talk to self',partly a reminder to those of you still stuck in the muddy mood ruts ofSpring’s reluctance: it doesn’t have to feel inspired. You don’t have tobe in a good mood when you start. But carry on, my fellow NewEnglanders. We are hardy in body and spirit! (I mean, look where wechose to live.) Inspiration may not come today in your work, your play,your yoga practice (your blog posting :), but if you unroll your mat andbegin, put on your shoes and walk out the door, pick up that folder anddeal with that report, the process will unfurl for you and deepcontentment will settle in and carry you forward. And tomorrow: whoknows? Perhaps inspiration.